Micro Squishable Cactus Keychain

It doesn't seem hard to parent a cactus: literally stick it in a pot and don't do anything. Don't water it, don't move it, just let us sit there. Don't do anything to the cactus and it will thrive. And now my cactus is dead. How does this keep on happening?? Luckily the Micro Squishable Cactus will stay with me forever. Because the best plants are immortal.